JEERS / VIDEO: MADONNA: “BITCH I’M MADONNA” FEAT. NICKI MINAJ

First of all, I’m actually a fan of Rebel Heart.  I think it’s Madonna’s best album since American Life (criminally under-rated).  But “Bitch I’m Madonna” is terrible.  The song and video.  The lyrics of “Material Girl” have more substance than the lyrics of this one.  But, hey, pop music doesn’t require strong lyrics to be fun.  It does, however, have to be catchy or, at the very least, interesting.  This song is neither.  The more I’ve listened to it, the more it grates on my nerves.  It just feels like someone took random parts from a few bad electropop tracks and pasted them together then Madonna spent ten minutes writing lyrics and another ten singing them over it.  And the video is as bad as the song.  Hell, the “Material Girl” video had more substance than this.  Here, she just walks around a bunch of hallways and rooms and makes us look at over-saturated, gaudy colors.  And she nearly falls over a few times, too.  That’s the only enjoyable part of the video.  If this is her response to Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” then she easily loses that battle.  Oh, she’s got cameos in this video, but it feels like she just rounded up the stars that Taylor didn’t choose and threw them in in some lame attempt to compete.  It doesn’t feel like you’re seeing a bunch of stars in a Madonna video — it feels like you’re watching Taylor’s rejects in a video.  Madonna might think this will give her more credibility with younger listeners but I don’t see it happening.  As a longtime Madonna fan, I think this is piss poor.  So, if I was biased in favor of Madonna and I think this way about it, you can imagine what a 14 year old Rihanna fan will think about it.  All Madonna ultimately does here is embarrass herself — and tarnish her name.

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